Celebrating Female Bonds (and Leslie Knope)

This past fall, I held a brunch for some friends in my condo. It was a beautiful fall day and everyone who joined was made to feel at home, crammed in the very small space I had to hold everyone. Not everyone knew each other, but friendly chit chat took place and the room felt warm and safe.  

I had left out a few things to encourage fun and conversation including a few board games and a box of ice breaker-type questions. Each open ended question is on its own card with the intention of inviting people to share. Toward the end of the event, someone grabbed them and started asking questions. It didn't take long before everyone was contributing. There were the collective groans as we shared our worst first date and the volume of laughter that came as a funny story was told (especially those first date stories). It was unstructured at first but eventually we created a cadence of allowing each person to share (or not), to ask follow up questions and appreciate how many of us had the same or similar experiences.  

Unbeknownst to us, we each played a part in creating a safe space for one another. We recharged each other’s battery through connection and laughter. We supported each other when a difficult moment was shared. 

How many of us find that when a group of women gather how easy it is to create space for each other? 

Yet, society’s expectation is women should be self-sufficient. 

We honor that expectation of self sufficiency to the point of isolation. We are taught to compete, to downplay our needs, to not take up too much emotional space. And so we put our heads down and grind, grinning and bearing the hard parts alone. Not sharing our pain, not celebrating our wins, not helping lift someone else up, not accepting help when it’s offered.  We feel the dissonance of wanting community but the shame of holding up the expectation someone else told us we had to adhere to. 

Galentine’s Day pushes back on that. It says: let’s celebrate the women who help us be the version of ourselves we are today. 

Yes, Galentine’s Day is a made up holiday. But the whimsical notion of Leslie Knope wanting to celebrate friendship and honoring female bonds is not as silly as it may seem. 

Female friendships offer something rare. They build communities that are rooted in honesty, generosity and mutual support. They create rooms where you can be fully yourself without translation. They remind you who you are when you forget.

And there is power in women choosing each other on purpose.

Galentine’s Day is a reminder to nurture those relationships.

Because every woman deserves a circle, a compass and a community that keeps her oriented when the world feels disorienting.

I encourage you to share this post to the women that you chose, that matter to you and thank them for being on your journey with you. 

Happy Galentine’s Day, ladies!