If You Are At An Inflection Point, You Are In the Middle
The 80s and 90s of my childhood hold a special place in my heart - the music, the movies and so on. Top Gun was one of those movies that was on repeat. It had everything: the hot actor (I know, I know… cringy now but stay with me), singing, flirting, action and a killer soundtrack (Danger Zone is still a jam, am I right?).
A quick overview for the sake of this conversation. Maverick and Goose fly for the Navy and get called up to train for the elite Top Gun. Maverick lives up to his name - raw talent, ego and instinct but breaks all rules. He’s the late 80s bad boy we all loved.
In a training exercise, Goose is killed.
Goose’s death is devastating and it breaks Maverick’s identity. He can no longer trust himself in the cockpit, which for Maverick is basically the same as not trusting himself to exist. Who he was is forever changed.
That conflict within himself is the inflection point for Maverick and the tension of what happens next is what makes the movie. Will Maverick get back into the cock pit? Can he still be a fighter pilot without Goose? Does it even make sense to continue?
That's what the middle feels like. The thing that defined you no longer fits and you haven't figured out what comes next.
Has something happened that’s changed you? Is there tension between where you are and what you want? Are you in a place of your life where something has made you ask “there has to be a different way” or “is this all there is”?
Welcome to the middle.
One of my most memorable inflection points in my career came in 2016 when I found out my job was being eliminated. It shook me to the core. I was freshly married, I had a mortgage and the primary contributor to the household and not surprisingly, scared out of my mind. I also suffered from an identity crisis, was this an indication of my value, my worth? What does this say about me?
And so I was forced to get clear about who I was and the direction and what I wanted. I had spent 10 years working for a company and I did a myriad of jobs, always being called up to take on a new project or support a new initiative. This time, I had to dictate the terms of what was next, which was new to me.
I did not wake up one day and have it figured out. The middle was slow and uncomfortable and there were weeks where I had no idea if I was moving forward or just moving. During that time period, I got busy. I networked a lot. I did inventories about my personality and learning styles and even what jobs I should do. I made lists of all the things I liked and didn't like about the work I had been doing. I reviewed my resume with people and asked for feedback. It was uncomfortable and scary.
I had to be seen but being seen felt like desperation. But I did it anyway. Through that pain and sadness, I was able to recalibrate and find firm ground again. I started to believe in myself and my abilities. And eventually, I was reminded of the thing I tell anyone who is laid off, this is not the end of your story.
Eventually, I was able to find my value and I had a clear POV on what I wanted next: I wanted to pivot to a different industry and work for a smaller organization.
Knowing what you want and need is what the middle is all about. If you are ready to get back into the cockpit, let’s talk!
As luck would have it (PS. I know it wasn't luck. It was hard work that got me there, but a sprinkle of the right place/right time didn't hurt either), I found a role that satisfied so many of the things I needed and wanted. And that job shaped so many things in my life that came since. I had the opportunity to build and create in a completely different industry. I hired and managed amazing team members. I worked for the best manager of my entire career. I met so many great people, many of whom are people I am still connected to including some that are my closest friends and biggest champions.
Because of that change, when my next inflection points came, I was calmer in the cockpit because I was better equipped to handle those shifts. Even the one I’m experiencing now, my role elimination wasn’t about me, it was about the situation. And while I have days that make me question those things all over again, I know that I’m in the middle of my movie and I need to get back into the cockpit and reengage trusting the process.
Interestingly enough, one of the things I wanted was a place to go to get away from my every day. I started looking for a retreat where I could have more intentional time to deep dive into who I was, what I wanted and where I wanted to go. I never found it. Yet, 10 years later, Nicole and I building exactly what I felt like I needed then here at Find Her Compass.
After some soul searching and talking to people wiser than him, Maverick does eventually return to the plane and is immediately thrown into combat. Our hero saves another fighter and shoots down the enemy. Everyone loves a good ending, but a setback is required to make a comeback. It’s the middle that makes the ending so powerful.
The middle is doing something to you whether you're paying attention or not.
Cue Kenny Loggins.
-Kristina
