I asked AI About My Reputation and I Feel Seen
Reflecting on the incredible women who served on our panel this month and how they show up in rooms that are unique to their journey, I’ve been thinking deeply about reputation. As we build Find Her Compass, our work only resonates if we are viewed as trustworthy.
Considering reputations, I ran an experiment with AI. Using 2 different AI tools, I asked them both the same pointed question:
"Knowing everything you know about me, what would you assume people say about me when I’m not in the room?"
The AI's answers were eerily accurate, echoing feedback I’ve received throughout my career. But then, one of the tools turned the tables and asked me: "What do you fear people say about you when you’re not in the room?"
I fear no one is talking about me when I’m not in the room.
Oof. Admitting that was maybe the hardest thing I’ve had to confront.
The Myth of "The Work Speaks for Itself"
For a long time, I operated under the belief that if I just did excellent work, it would speak for me. I’ve never had the appetite for office politics or the energy for "managing up" just to score reputational points. I thought that by staying focused and out of the fray, I was protecting my integrity.
But I was wrong. I realized that silence isn't actually a shield, it’s a form of isolation. When you let the work "speak for itself," you leave a vacuum that others fill with their own interpretations.
The Difficult Label
The feedback I’ve received in my career, that I am "difficult" or "too intense" is accurate. But I’ve realized those labels are often just shorthand for someone who pushes for excellence and refuses to settle for "fine." And in the HR profession, it means I’m not letting people do what they want to do or how they want to do it.
The danger isn't the labels themselves; it’s that those labels make it easy for people to dismiss you. And admittedly, it’s also affirms staying out of certain “rooms”. Why be somewhere where I’m not wanted?
Yet, when you stay below the radar, you aren't avoiding criticism, you're just losing the chance to defend the "intensity" that actually drives your best work.
Choosing the Arena
I’m reminded of Theodore Roosevelt’s "Man in the Arena" speech. The credit belongs to the person whose face is marred by dust and sweat, the one who actually strives, even if they fail.
By choosing to be seen, I have to choose to have nay-sayers. I have to choose to be the real version of me, even if that means being "too much" for some rooms.
As we enter this season of spring, a time for renewal and brightness, I’m asking myself: In what rooms do I want to be talked about? And more importantly, Am I brave enough to enter them?
This is my real learning moment: a compass only works when you’re actually moving. Refining a vision in private is just another way of staying hidden. I’m working to embrace the noise. Because the only thing scarier than being criticized is never being known at all.
