Harmonies on a Train: Finding Community Where You Least Expect It (Thank you Dolly Parton)

In 2016 I got to see Dolly Parton at Ravinia. I don't remember anything about the  performance, chalk it up to too much wine (IYKYK). 

What I do remember vividly is the ride home. We crammed ourselves into the Metra and as the ticket takers came through, every gay man in Chicago and my female friends started singing 9 to 5. It was a drunken, off-key, joyful sing-along and it's the kind of memory that sticks around long after the actual concert has faded to nothing.

That was the thing about Dolly, her spirit was felt even after the show ended. 

She has spent decades writing songs from her own very specific life, a poor kid from Sevier County, Tennessee and somehow they stopped being just her story. "9 to 5" became every working person's anthem. "I Will Always Love You" became everybody's breakup song, “Islands in the Stream” was our cheesy love song. She wrote from her own life and it resonated with all of us.  

I didn't plan to find a community for the 30 minute train ride. You don't build a community of people who feel like home by scheduling it. You show up somewhere where everyone feels the magic and eventually you realize the people next to you know all the words too.

That's the whole trick with a third spaces, the thing we talk about constantly at Find Her Compass. It's not the venue. It's not the five step framework. It’s the experience that gets created where the magic happens and you just can't help but sing along.

Dolly Parton built an empire, a theme park, a literacy program that's put books in the hands of millions of kids and somehow never stopped being the kind of person a stranger would harmonize with on a train. Ambitious and warm were never opposites for her.

Here's the lesson, if you want one: Show up. Sing loud, even if you don't know the words yet. The people who are supposed to find you will.

And if all else fails, get on public transit after a Dolly Parton concert. Apparently that works too.